Out Of Hand Situations
by fromafizate
Summary: Random incident when all the HP characters are at Grimmauld Place. Supposed to be funny!


**OUT OF HAND SITUATIONS**

"That is so **NOT** true!"

"Yah it is."

"Not its not"

"Yah it is."

"Not its not"

"Yah it is."

"Not its not"

"No what's not?"

"Oh, hi Harry. Well, Ron here thinks that **I** have a crush on-"

"Ooooooooooh... who has a crush on who?!?!?"

"BLOODY HELL dont squeal so loud Ginny! anyways, i was saying that hermione **obviously** has a crush on..."

"Has any one seen my blue hello kitty underwear?"

"NO Fred... or George... we havent seen ur atrociously gay underwear."

"Fred, actually, and they are **not** gay, merely alittle juvenile..."

"Atrociously? Ohmygod, Ron, im so proud! Uv learnt a new word!"

"Shuddup mione or i'll yell out ur latest crush!"

"Well, i don't BLOODY HAVE ONE!"

"Hello? Can u PLEASE tell me who u think Hermione has a crush on?!?!"

"Hermione has a **crush?** do tell Won Won..."

"Hey, arent u supposed to be looking for ur underwear?"

"Yes well, do they **ever** do what they're supposed to?"

"Ah, the student becomes the teacher... good job mione, we've taught u well..."

"Oh, please. the only thing uv taught me is to **never** take so much as a grain of rice from u two."

"HELLO?!?!? WHO DOES HERMIONE HAVE A BLOODY CRUSH ON?!?!?!?"

"Oh, look! Harry's face goes all pink when he shouts..."

"Ignore them Harry. Ur face isn't pink. actually, its kinda bluish..."

"BLUE? Great, my sister is **colour-blind**! It's purple!"

"Well, actually, Wonnie-poo, it's yellow..."

"Don't call me that, and it's purple... no wait, orange..."

"Are u guys done deciding what color MY BLOODY FACE IS?!?!"

"My, my, my, we really have got to do sumthing about that temper of urs..."

"OI!!! Mione's escaping!"

"GET HER!"

"I am NOT escaping!!! Now can u retards get **off** me?"

"Hey, I resent that!"

"Can u **bloody HELL** tell me who the crush is so we can go back to finding my underwear?!?!"

"Yah, wots that about anyways?"

"Tell u later sweet-cheeks..."

"OHMYGOD are you **flirting** with Hermione?!"

"Why, does it come as a surprise?"

"He is **not** flirting with me Won Won."

"SHUT UP!"

"Leave the two of us alone and I'll shut her up for u **real **good."

"..."

"That has got to be the longest silence ive ever heard."

"I think im gonna be sick..."

"Aww... poor Harry cannot handle adult-rated language..."

"OK, now i think I'M gonna be sick, and im ur twin!"

"ANYWAY, can u tell me who hermione has a crush on?"

"Apart from me, u mean."

"Shut up Fred."

"But **hermione**, i thought these feelings of love and lust were **mutual** between us!"

"Observe me roll my eyes in disgust."

"Disgust?!?! Love, i think u mean barely-contained desire!"

"Ok, **EWWW**!!! Can we **please** change the topic before i barf!"

"Yes we can Ginerva, and we will. Don't worry darling, we'll continue are little 'talk' elsewhere..."

"No thanku."

"Dont worry honey, we'll talk less and-"

"DON'T U **DARE** finish that sentence u perverted **psycopath**!"

"Oh, I'm sure uv had dirtier things come out of ur throat, dear brother, to, wats her name? Lav Lav?"

"I never- i mean, we- thats not- I- I- "

"Look, ickle ronniekins' **stuttering**..."

"He's **actually** speechless!!"

"Must've bin some **really** filthy 'talks'..."

"Could u guys cut it out? Ginny's here!"

"Hey, Im just a YEAR younger than you, crush-girl!"

"**Crush-girl**? Bloody hell, woman, how lame is that?"

"Says the blue hello kitty underwear owner!"

"Hey! Don't insult my underwear!"

"Y are u looking for them if ur already wearing some, by the way?"

"You **are** wearing some, arent u?"

"Wudn't u like to know, lover..."

"PLEASE not this again!!!"

"Ur right Harry... we have important things to discuss... like Hermione's crush..."

"**SUPPOSED **crush!"

"U dont have to hide it Mione, I know Im right!"

"So, who is it?"

"Is it Harry?!?!?"

"No Ginny, he's reserved for you..."

"Shut up Wonnie-poo, or I'll tell everyone about the, erm... **books** u have hidden in ur closet..."

"HOW THE BLOODY FUCKIN HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THEM?!?!?"

"About **what**?!?!? What is she talking about Ron?!?!?!"

"NOTHING Hermione..."

"What books? Ginny, **TELL ME**!!"

"Don't you **dare**, Ginny, or I'll... I'll..."

"U'll what? Ooooh... i can totally use this for blackmail!!!"

"What books are dear Ronniekins hiding from us?"

"Hopefully their nothing too... erm... how shud i say it? Erotic, for his own gud..."

"What's the matter Wonny-love, Lavy not performing gud enough for u?"

"ARE U GUYS **ALWAYS** THIS HORNY AND PERVERTED?!?!?"

"Only when ur around my little luv bug..."

"That's **it**. I'm OUTTA here."

"NO!!! Hermione dont leave me here alone with these **freaks**!!"

"Yeah Hermy!! And plus you have to tell us ur secret crush... am i right Freddy?"

"Right u are Georgy... come now luv, tell me who this **crush** is so i can set a bunch of fireworks up his arse."

"UGH!! Cud u guys let me go **anytime **soon?"

"OI GEORGE! Ur not allowed to touch her **there**! Only i am!!!!"

"Guys get **away** from Hermione or i will hex you into an oblivion!!"

"First of all, missy, u **can't** due to the fact that u are **underage**. Secondly... there is no secondly... is there?"

"Why yes there is Georgy, secondly, u have **NO** right to tell me to get away from my delicious little sex toy..."

"OH **GROSS**!!! If you don't stop this crap right NOW i will scream so loud THAT THE ENTIRE HOUSE WILL WAKE UP!!!!"

"No need to do that Mione, the entire house is already awake."

"Sirius, Professor Lupin, thank GOD ur here!! **Finally** sum adults that can handle situations when they GET OUT OF HAND!!"

"Out of hand situations? Any examples?"

"Well, yes, there's the Fred's lost, blue hello kitty underwear mishap, and the-"

"HERMIONE! WHO DO U HAVE A BLEEDIN CRUSH ON?"

"HARRY! NO **SODDING **BODY!!"

"I DON'T FUCKIN BELIEVE U!!"

"WELL U DON'T BLOODY HAVE TO!!"

"**WHY IS EVERYBODY FRIGGIN SHOUTING?!?!**"

"Wow, to think I'm the one who started all this..."

"Yah **RONNIEKINS**, this is all UR FAULT!"

"MY fault? Why?"

"Because u bloody started this!"

"So?"

"SO?"

"Hey, i said it first!"

"Oi, Mione, who u have a crush on?"

"Oh GOD Sirius, not u too!"

"Not me too what?"

"Let me get this straight... **I**.** DO**.** NOT**.** HAVE**.** A**.** CRUSH**.** ON**.** ANY**.** ONE**."

"**Except** me."

"**Including** you!"

"Ouch... OUCH... Ow! Ow Ow OW OW **OW OW OW**!!!!"

"What's wrong?!?!? What happened? FRED?!?!?"

"My **heart**!!! It's breaking! OH HOLY **FUCKIN** HELL!!"

"Oh Lord help me..."

"HERMIONE!! U did this to me! How cud u? The intense emotional **ANGUISH** that is threatening to consume me is **nothing** compared to the shattered mess of my soul..."

"What's all this about?"

"What do u think its all about?"

"Fred being deeply and, erm... **soulfully** in love with you?"

"Only to be **agonizingly** thrown heart-first into the deep pit of despair due to REJECTION..."

"Oh get over it Fred and GROW UP."

"So Ron, exactly how many porn magazines do u have stashed away in ur cupboard?"

"WHAT THE **BLOODY** HELL??"

"U HAVE **PORN** MAGAZINES??"

"My, you two **adults** do catch on quickly, don't u?"

"Shut up George. Ron... **explain**."

"I do NOT have porn magazines!!!!"

"Yeah u do."

"Shut up Ginny, i **don't**."

"Right... and Hermione doesn't have a secret crush..."

"WELL I **BLOODY WELL** DON'T!!!!!!!!"

"Then what are we all arguing about?"

"**AAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**"

THE END ... or is it???


End file.
